honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
