i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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