i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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