last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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