when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
