i can't believe i had my finger in that
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
