I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
