why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
