he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
