she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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