So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
