return my video game
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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