Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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