I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We are two peas in an std pod
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
