omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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