We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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