im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
