apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize