He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
