Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
