you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Randomize
