Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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