I love black thongs
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
