Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
