i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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