Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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