But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Girls should come with a carfax report
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize