My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
