I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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