At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
