Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
