he wants to bone in the snuggie
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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