I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
