Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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