my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
