Acid is not a monday night drug
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
