Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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