my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
