he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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