i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize