If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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