That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
