He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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