Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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