I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
