she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize