So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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