so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize