do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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