guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
