So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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