Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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