im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
