flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
