Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
