He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
