Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize