So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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