Well douche your snatch and let's go!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
