i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
