lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
