Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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