Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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