I wanna passion pit in your ass
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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